I like how you're saying "Whaaaaaat" like it's a big shock about our side of the fence, when it was really simple? On a side with Fleur/Tonks and Barty/Yaxley, whoever #5 is 100% controls what happens. I have no idea how Wood might have leaned? I don't think he's be willing to hit Fleur, but I don't know if he would have hit Tonks and risked angering her? So maybe he bends and hits one of Barty & Me. Except Lily's his closest ally so unless I get immunity I die, and yesterday's schedule was such that I couldn't even try for it. Not that it would have mattered; I have a ton of trouble processing Audio without a visual? Like, I need subtitles on to follow TV most of the time, even in English. So I was 100% fucked that challenge anyways.
Anyways, I was gambling on a Switch but then forgot to actually put in for one, oops. Yesterday was tough schedule wise and I was 100% focused on the social aspect over the mechanical, it seemed more likely I'd survive that way. So some angel switched Wood with Diggle? And this was where the stars suddenly align for me. I didn't talk about the Digg-is-Moro reveal yesterday but it
massively changed how I viewed the game, far more than I expected it to. Guess I can talk about that?
So I've always felt a bad about gunning Moro down out of the gate? It was a heartless thing to do, and Integreat seemed like a wonderful human being in the Jury. I felt like if we had managed to share more of the game together it would have gone well, but that our fighting each other was a casualty of being clearly on opposite sides in a swap situation where I felt deeply out of my depth and just wanted to aggressively make a play without gathering info. One of the things I took away from that game was I made too many snap decisions without evaluating all of my options, and that I made too many judgements about the game state based on what I had been told to be true and how I assumed other people would see things. It's most obvious at the merge because I was feeling the fatigue of having played for weeks and the heady confidence that comes with surviving that long and pulling off big plans. Even now, I can understand my logic at the time? But looking back, it is incredible to me how closeminded I was with people who I assumed close friendships with too many other players. Moro wasn't the only one as well, G-ma and I probably could have been incredibly close if I hadn't been so block-headed about the underwater trio, and I even feel like Eboshi or Ponyo could have been avenues for a solid relationship at the merge if I'd been willing to try. This is something I tried to fix with my game as Henry, and I think I largely succeeded? I still had some solid friendships but Henry also managed to be flexible enough to worm his way out of things that would have 100% killed Asbel. I mean, maybe not because Henry died at eighth too.
![:P](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png)
The point is, I was mentally ready to read a name and go "Oh, I really like them? I've seen them/worked with them in X before. Oh well, I'm sure they'll understand it's just a game and I'll do what I have to." I can't really speculate on what other names I
thought might pop up, but I'm hard-pressed to think of anyone that would really make me pause? I feel as though I can list folks I've played with without speculating on their status re: this game, but I apologize if I'm wrong to do so, just delete this spoiler without looking if that's the case.
Naus and I loved each other, and Avery seems wonderful, but they've also played 30+ games, they know that one good game doesn't guarantee another. Lord Yupa is a sweetheart but I know he and I are cut from similar cloth; I would expect him to remain loyal to the folks he cares most about in this game over any shared history, and I'd treat him likewise. Ashi was nice but I wouldn't expect any loyalty out of Jo, given how much of a crappy ally I wound up being to him? GeJo would have been incredibly funny but realistically I think it would mean we were more likely to betray each other; I would have not felt like I needed 100% loyalty there and I'd be worried they assume if I'm not still hostile 6 months later, I'll at least be incredibly paranoid about it. Punxy would have been a solid time too, but we've never actually managed to work well together and I kind of don't know how likely that is to change, just based on how we play these games? We're currently 2/2 for starting in the same Side, having initially rocky relationships where they like me way more than I like them, then some shit happens and I wind up getting them killed (although second time round it was because someone else had to choose between me and him, so not directly my fault.)
Getting Ginja here (or anyone else from FeH, like Waka or Papz) would have been terrifying because they're more likely to remember Henry over Asbel, and Henry was an absolute bastard, far more vicious and traitorous than Asbel. (Playing an absolute psychopath gives wonderful moral freedom to play like an absolute psychopath). I guess getting Zesty would have been about as hard as Integreat, in terms of learning an ID and then not working with them? But even then, like Naus I'd expect they'd at least understand if I wound up betraying them, because they've played so many of these that they know it's just a game at the end. I'm sure Integreat would understand too, but ugh I was already so awful to them for no reason, it's just not the same.
The point is, this Mutual ID thing that I've been completely devaluing for weeks has suddenly and irrevocably changed my game. After having wrecked Moro for no reason so hard, I do not have it in me to hit Diggle here, who's been nothing but pleasant and likeable with me all game. It would be beyond my capacity for cruelness. This is a problem, because I already feel similarly about Barty? And so I'm suddenly getting Naus/Okkoto flashbacks where I want to work with both forever, and both know I'm with them 100% but also with the other 100%, which means if they ever want to hit each other they have to go around me? This guarantees at some point I'm getting blindsided by one of my closest friends here, which is going to suck, 100%. Logically I should just snipe one or the other in a few rounds to avoid it but I mentally picture how I'd feel writing out the words to someone else and I just get a sick feeling in my stomach. I navigated FeH without nearly as much suffering because I never thought anyone had me as their highest priority in that game? I was right, too; as far as I know I was last person to leave who didn't have at least one final 3 deal; all of my allies admitted they intended to eventually kill me. But here? I could honestly see (assuming the rest of the game doesn't get in the way) either Barty or Diggle going the distance with me. But it's a final 2 here, so one of them can't, and they both know that, and so betrayal is inevitable. Best case scenario, I get completely blindsided and but still have a chance to recover. Worst case scenario I'm asked to be complicit and that is nightmarish to consider. Somewhere between those two cases, I die at 8th place again and the whole moral dilemma is permanently postponed.
![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png)
WOW that was a pretty big detour. Anyways, the point is Diggle and I connected
incredibly hard yesterday, and in my mind they're with me until one of us is dead by someone else's hand. Killing Tonks and risking Fleur's anger about it, when he was with both of them all game? That's the kind of shit I'd view as unbreakable. So when they swapped over yesterday after that huge display of connection, I felt pretty safe that they were going to keep me over Tonks there. I figured if they weren't and they killed me, fair enough? We could call it even. So I didn't really know if I'd live, but I also felt like all I could do was rely on the folks I'd put effort with. It worked out okay for me? But I think from a hosting perspective unless Digg was wavering way more than he lets on, it was probably a known outcome many hours in advance compared to... whatever happened with the other set. Speaking of!
Ha ha ha
I did not do much, really. Lily was worried about how it looked, so I suggested a couple of ways she could approach it? I was sure she'd be alright and of the set of Lucius/Lily/Black/Moody/Diggle(at the time)/HK I felt confident that Lily would navigate it fine and also that I wouldn't be anyone I was too concerned with? I know Diggle likes Moody but I barely know him, so while I'll try to work harder with him going forward, I can't pretend I was concerned if he survived. I'd have preferred if Lucius or Diggle survived, probably? But until the ID reveal was brought up I figured I didn't care that much, I had other options. HK was a weird case where I was willing to work with him again when it made sense, and I think he was in the same boat? But he vanished really suddenly for days without saying anything, so I wasn't sure if he was coming back or how strong he'd be, and I wasn't willing to risk my neck for him. So Lucius/Lily/Diggle could easily loop in Moody (who Lily did swap to Canary to keep alive) and take their pick; I was confident they'd be able to agree on Black or HK and wasn't concerned about which. Wood and Diggle swapping made my own life more stressful (in that we still had no easy target on this side) but probably simplified things for Lily? Or should have, anyways.
![:giggle](https://i.imgur.com/GdXDrBY.gif)
So it wound up being a clusterfuck? I've read through the testimony from different folks and have come to the conclusion that everything was fine until Wood decided to take a gamble on HK having the idol, thinking HK would trust him and it could mean he'd have an unshakable ally? And if it failed, HK just dies anyways, no harm no foul. Except HK didn't have the idol but did try to use his connections to last-minute switch it? Lily wound up hearing about it and tried to calm him down, saying she was definitely voting Black as Wood told her too. But she posted it in the wrong chat and posted it vaguely so Lucius took it to mean he was being bamboozled, and so; fireworks. Hilarious, hilarious fireworks. The fireworks were a surprise even if the outcome was not.
Hilariously, despite this being mistakes on Wood's and Lily's part, it's all falling down on Lucius? I don't particularly mind; after all this I don't trust Wood at all but I trust Lily quite a bit still. I think stressing that Lucius actually played sanely here, he just reacted badly to a bunch of weird behaviour from his allies, will not help my own optics of looking like one of Lucius's underlings. And at least for the Mystery Gang, Lucius has been living on borrowed time; the minute something like this happened it was inevitable that he get devoured. It's ironic that he was never directly punished for his own mistakes but might get punished for the mistakes of others here anyways.
Probably, because I don't think Tonks was a target over half of the folks on the other side. I think it's very clever of you to have set things up so that the first folks in the Wizengamot aren't left alone for a day to be sad by themselves, it will probably help get some conversation flowing.
Okay, I'm running out of time today so I'll put the rest off for now.